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BISHØP to D8?

Felipe — Tue, 06 Dec 2016 20:29:38 +0000

Welp, there is little to no mention of the past, present or future of new singer/songwriter/producer/ DJ, BISHØP, and her new track “F.F.Y. (Feeling For You).” The only information I can glean is from her Twitter page, which lists “Portlandia” as her location (assuming Oregon, unless she’s from the fictional Fred Armison city), so it’s safe to assume that (1) she’s upbeat and nice, but doesn’t realize it, (2) has a way too close relationship with her pet, (3) is super pretentious and snobby when it comes to coffee, protests, and recycling, and (4) probably rolls around town on a penny farthing, or some other stupid-style bike. Although this BISHØP (pronounced “bishop”) is not necessarily famous just yet, we will look at some (in)famous bishops from the past. Who knows, maybe we’ll learn a thing or two. During the middle ages (5th to 15th century), being a Bishop was good business. Essentially, as a Bishop, you’d threaten an ignorant person with eternal burning, and he’ll give you some money to feel safe again via “indulgences.” Martin Luther (remember him? the white one?) is remembered because of this very thing. In 1517 Luther wrote to his Bishop protesting the sale of indulgences, including a copy of what later became know as the Ninety-five Theses, originally titled Disputation of Martin Luther on the Power and Efficacy of Indulgences. The story told in Sunday school was that he nailed the Ninety-five Theses on the door of a church and then it spread like wildfire (this has been mostly disproved), same dude though. Anywho, those Bishops were corrupt dudes, and there’s a solid chance all Christians would be Catholic were it not for Señor Luther and the subsequent Protestant Reformation. More bad dude Bishops are the inquisitors that denied Joan or Arc the right to counsel and went ahead with a trial they had no evidence to support, then burned her at the stake for heresy. Then there’s the humanoid cyborg Bishop, from the Ridley Scott series of “Alien” movies with Sigourney Weaver, whom we were never quite sure whose side he was on (probly also bad), and who had that sweet finger-stabbing-knife-trick (that everyone stabbed themselves trying to replicate). Last but maybe least we’ve got the mostly sacrificial chess piece, the bishop. Well, maybe it’s only sacrificial to me because I’m not good at chess and he’s constantly getting sacrificed.

If this BISHØP can learn a little from all those bishops, then she’ll probably see the black-souled underbelly of the music biz, extort her way to success, change her name, and sacrifice some pathetic sap in her stead, just like the rest of them.

Feli Says Learning is Fun

Go for Gold(room)

Felipe — Wed, 20 Jul 2016 21:48:32 +0000

Midweek blues got you jonesin’ for that poolside fiesta you went to on Sunday? The one with sweet jams, cool breezes, cold drinks and hard bodies? I feel you. Except I don’t have a pool. Soho House won’t return my emails. And the hotel pool across the street wants to charge me $320 to sit in a chair. No matter. My apartment’s A/C barely works, so I just leave the air off and sit in the tub with a cocktail, shades on, music playing from my cell phone (in a solo cup to pump up the jams obvi) and a handheld fan blowing recycled air on my neck. Our lives are basically the same. I just have the decency to lie about it on Instagram is all. My bathtub/pool party playlist includes Goldroom’s new jam, “Silhouette.” Goldroom, not to be confused with Goldhouse (seriously with the names guys!?), another DJ whom we have visited with, is a Boston-bred nu-disco and tropical house DJ. Mr. Room lists his musical influences as, “basically any famous and cool musician in the last 30 years.” No, that’s not his actual quote, but it might as well have been with the list he provided… smh

Since Gold and “home related stuff” is a thing, I guess my DJ name will be Goldenshower.

Feli Says go for group tub time

GOLDHOUSE – FeelGood

Felipe — Fri, 15 May 2015 14:36:55 +0000

Born and bred Chi-town man, GOLDHOUSE, is a quadruple threat American – much like myself – DJ/producer/songwriter/vocalist; except I can’t do any of those things. But I’m good at other stuff, ok? Back off! That said, I’m just gonna plagiarize his bio because it’s really well done and is the kind of garbage nonsense I write all the time: “GOLDHOUSE is not meant for boring people. Ask your healthcare provider if your heart is healthy enough for GOLDHOUSE. Side effects may include: hearing loss, the uncontrollable urge to set things on fire, partying hard, short term memory loss, sudden pelvic thrusts, random acts of deviance, and nudity. Mixing alcohol or other substances with GOLDHOUSE will result in unruly dancing and blacking out. If you think GOLDHOUSE is for you, you’re probably a winner. If not, take a hike loser!”

Feli Says Listen to happy summer jamz! Force the season!

Alison Wonderland – rabbit hole double dose

Felipe — Thu, 07 May 2015 22:11:38 +0000

Alison Wonderland graduated from being a classically trained cellist to her current role as DJ/producer. The Sydney-native’s debut album is out this year and feels like if Elliphant and CHVRCHES got into a teleporter together to go to some sweet Brooklyn hipster warehouse party, but there was a glitch in the machine so when they arrived on the other side they were all smushed together and distorted, but still alive as one “person” (I guess…) and decided to just go with it and mix-up some beats and see what happens. Because everyone knows there’s a big difference between “winging it,” and “seeing what happens”. So let’s see what happens.

Feli Says Listening has never been easier